Women of Crossfit - My experience

I have "friended" a Facebook page called Women of Crossfit = Strong. In all of the postings the women, of many sizes and fitness levels, wax poetically about the tremendous support they get from other women in their box. When I read that I think "I want to live where they live". They must be living in some fairy tale land where unicorns run wild and gas is 30 cents a gallon. It certainly isn't where I live.

There are very few women in my box who are supportive of this 65 year old - and they are the coaches. I'm not sure why. Is it because I am much older than they are? The women are certainly friendly towards my daughter, who is much closer to their age. A couple of times I was talking with Megan when another woman came up to us and just started talking to her, ignoring me. Is  it that Megan is friendlier than I am? Hmmm, I know I can be shy but even when I go up to someone and start talking to them, they get glassy eyed and usually answer with one word, then walk away. It seems that a few of the women have known each other for a while and stay together. That brings me to another thought.

Research has shown that males bully physically but women bully relationally. So, a guy will beat up another guy but women ostracize each other. Girls who bully other girls will comment on how they look, segregate them from activities and suddenly stop being their best friend. Now, I'm not saying that these women at my box are bullies- far from it - but they do segregate themselves from me. I'm not included in their chatter and I don't get "high fives" when I complete a WOD that might be difficult for me. They don't even notice or acknowledge me long enough to notice whether I am have difficulties.

Forty years ago I marched for the Equal Rights Amendment. For women to have equal rights in the job market, in salaries, in the right to control their own bodies. I thought that women had moved past the petty. Certainly women of my generation saw the importance of us supporting each other and we still do. I have a wonderful group of friends who shore each other up. What happened to the next generation?  And the next?

I'm thinking of writing the women who comment on the Women of Crossfit = Strong page and ask "Where are these boxes where the women are supportive of other women? Where they cheer for the last one standing? Where it doesn't make any difference what you look like because we are in this together. Is there room for me?"